Try not to try so hard
Am I pretty enough? Am I toned enough? Am I overdoing it? Will I look desperate? Is this good enough? AM I good enough?
Over the past few years I've learned that I sabotage myself with my very own thoughts. Probably more successfully than anyone else could from the outside. And my mind seems to be sneaky enough to find ways to do that again and again.
One of the things that has helped me along the way is finding songs I resonate with. Lyrics I can relate to. Because they show me that whatever is going on in my seemingly crazy head must be going on in other people's heads as well.
So I went and recorded one of those songs that really resonated with me this past week and instead of "just" covering it, I also want to share my own thoughts here in this blog post with you.
Put your make up on,
Get your nails done,
Curl your hair,
Run the extra mile,
Keep it slim,
So they like you.
Do they like you?
Get your sexy on,
Don't be shy girl,
Take it off.
This is what you want,
So they like you.
Do you like you?
This is the beginning verse of Colbie Caillat's "Try", the song I covered this week. (I will link the video below.)
Let me just start off by saying that, as I'm writing this, I'm wondering if this cover I did, the video I made, the blog post I'm writing, are even good enough to be shared.
The reason I won't let those thoughts stop me right now, is because I know that that won't ever completely go away, and if I wait for things to be perfect, then none of my art or works will ever get to see the light of day. And even if this isn't perfect, the mere doing it will make me better at it. With each video, each recording, each blog post, I'm learning. Baby steps.
And everything I'm saying here has definitely been said before and I think most people will agree with this message. But if nothing else, maybe it's a nice reminder for you to not be so hard on yourself. Just like hearing "Try" last week was a much needed reminder for me.
I think we should always keep trying, and never give up. But I believe we should do it for ourselves. What makes YOU happy? What do YOU want? Sometimes it's really hard to filter out all the outside voices or thoughts of what we think the outside voices would say, and instead focus on what really lights ourselves up.
I, for one, know that my thoughts will never settle if I'm trying to make only the world around me happy.
"I should show more skin. It sells better." A day later: "I shouldn't have done that. It creates the wrong image."
If I truly love my body and I want to share it there is nothing wrong with that, but I don't have to try to appease anyone by showing more skin.
I also learned that...
- It's ok to think that where I am right now is perfect.
- I can put make up on to make myself feel pretty and special and because it's fun, but that I don't owe it to anyone.
- I am not 'worth' more or less depending on how I look, or even feel, on a certain day.
- Showing more of my insecurities makes me feel so much more connected to others, because it allows them to let their guard down. And in the end we find out we're more alike than we thought.
- It's ok to put a pretty image on and to want to look good on social media and that it doesn't have to make you superficial or vain.
- Being vulnerable is something we should all do more of instead of less.
- It's ok to like my own work and not be insecure about it.
- Not having it all together is totally acceptable.
- Others only judge us by their own flaws really.
- It's ok not to be ok, even for more than a few days.
- It's ok to be human, in all it's facets.
I hope you liked today's little blog post. If you felt inspired by it feel free to share it with the world and/or give me a 'thumbs up' on my youtube video. And don't forget to subscribe. ;)